Day 9

Nov 9: Gen 32-35
I think Jacob is one of my favorite people from the old testament. I know he deceived his brother Esau and his father Isaac, but his motives are always to be blessed by God and he'll stop at nothing for that. In chapter 32, Jacob wrestles with God in the form of man at night...til DAYBREAK. This has to be for at least 4 or 5 hours. When the man asks Jacob to let him go b/c its daybreak, Jacob replies that he won't let him go unless he blesses him. He just wrestled for how long and doesn't want to stop? Jacob wrestled with God literally , but I think this shows that God wants to wrestle with us figuratively. There are so many things we question and are unsure of in our lives. Instead of just succumbing to it, or just accepting it, I'm pretty sure God wants us to struggle with these things and actively look for answers through prayer and meditation. Also, I wish that I had as much desire and perseverance as Jacob did to be blessed by God, and not blessed with material things, but blessed with wisdom and things that will help glorify his kingdom.
I think the whole reason Jacob was wrestling with God in the first place is because he might have felt that God was leaving him hanging. The night before Jacob wrestled God, one of his messengers told him that Esau was coming to see him with 400 of his men. This was not looking good for Jacob. The last time these two were around each other, Jacob stole a pretty sweet blessing from Esau and Esau swore he would find Jacob and kill him. When Esau came though, his reaction was completely opposite of what you may have thought it would be. Esau "ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept." Now the bible doesn't really go into what Esau had been doing the whole time Jacob was busy making his army of a family, but you have to know that God was a big part of it. Back in those days, I feel like being blessed by your father who was such a man of God, was a huge deal. Jacob deceitfully stole this from Esau, yet Esau was still able to forgive him and even weep with him after their long absence. Only with true healing from God could this be possible. I don't think it's in our instinct to forgive people like this. We have to take that burden, that pain that was inflicted and just take it if we truly want to forgive. If Jesus could do this for us, if Jesus could die on the cross for us without having done anything to deserve it, could we be so proud to say we can't forgive someone for whatever they've done to us? It can't be worse than the agony we as mankind give God for being such sinners. Let's find hope in our God and model our lives after his.