Day 22

Nov 22: Exodus 28-34
I find it very difficult to remain really consistent in my spiritual life. Ever since high school, going on retreats, I'd get these crazy highs only to inevitably fall flat on my face a month or so later. I know the emotions that I felt were real; that God really did show his goodness and grace to me. I also know that that's not all our religion is about, there's so much more you need to be a mature christian.
When Moses goes up to Mount Sinai to speak to God for a long period of time, Aaron and all the Israelites get impatient and wonder what happened to him. Believing he may not come back, the Israelites, led by Aaron, ended up gathering all their gold and making it into a gold calf which they worshiped as an idol god.
I can relate to Aaron to an extent in this story; not by worshiping an idol god like a gold calf, but I do get my priorities mixed up a lot and God may take a back seat to them at times. Is that not so different? These times are frustrating to me; just like Aaron should know how apparent God made himself in freeing the Israelites from Egypt, God is so apparent to me by providing for me, answering my prayers and blessing me more than I ever deserve. In these times though, God eventually shows himself to me. All the years of going to church, going to retreats and revivals helped me become stronger even if I did fall soon after. God was building me a foundation that could ground me, and each new experience adds to that foundation and it only gets stronger. I find hope in a God that is always looking out for me even when I'm down and I find that those instances of falling happen less and less. I've learned that our relationship with God isn't something that will just click on and be good forever. It's something that needs work like any other relationship and knowing that God is looking out for me gives me hope to continue to pursue him regardless of how many times I may fall.