Day 150

Mar 30: Job 31-42
Reading the end of Job is so humbling because God is so sovereign, powerful, and loving. Throughout the book, Job is questioning God and wondering why he's being inflicted with all this turmoil when he has been blameless in his ways. When God finally answers him, He lays the smack down on Job and Job becomes speechless, realizing how sinful he really is before God. Some of the first lines in God's response goes like this:
vs 4: "Where were you when I laid the earth's foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! Who stretched a measuring line across it? On what were its footings set, or who laid its cornerstone - while the morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy?"
God goes on with things of that nature for two chapters and I can imagine Job afterwards, completely dumbfounded and humbled by God's amazing power. What can you possibly respond to that with?
We will never in our human minds be able to understand the true sovereignty of God, but do we spend enough time thinking about Him in that sense? It's easy to say God's omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent and whatnot, but when you actually think about what that means in more literal terms, it becomes a little more real in your life. When God reveals Himself to us, when we really start to see who God is, we see who we are as well. We see how sinful we are and how little we are compared to Him and as a result, we want to praise and worship Him more.
The best part of the book of Job isn't how God owns Job and shows him how powerful He is, but how amazing and loving He is afterwards. Job had so much before Satan took away his family and health, but after everything, God gives him double what he had to start. There's no better week than this week to think about how sovereign and loving God is; how good is God in your life?

Day 144

Mar 24: Job 1-16
Reading the beginning part of Job made me think about friendships and how important they are. I've had a million friends come and go, but how many of these people were my true friends? Does the fact that they came and went say anything? Most of them were probably superficial with weak, unsustainable bonds that connected us, but how much greater are the real friendships that are founded in Christ then?
When Job's friends come and see Job while he is ill, they are so adamant that he must have committed some act of sin to be feeling the wrath of God and are not encouraging to him in his time of suffering. Not only are they bringing him down further, but they're bringing a misconception of how God works, thinking that God only rewards good behavior and punishes bad. I would want the opposite of this from my friends. Friends who know how to listen and encourage, and friends who bring sound Godly advice. I pray that I'm humble enough to receive criticism when necessary, with confidence that my friends are truly looking out for me. That confidence comes from investing time in each others lives, not just superficially but on a deeper level and really getting to know what that person is like.
Is it possible for our friendships to be so strong and rooted in God that we could go about correcting each other with no hard feelings? I think about how much stronger we could be by continually lifting each other up in this way and hope that in our lives the answer would be yes.

Day 143

Mar 23: Esther 1-10
When I finished reading Esther again today, all I could think about was God's unfathomable strategy for her and Mordecai. I want to give a quick summary in list form to show how many events there were:

1. King Xerxes is displeased with Queen Vashti for not showing up to a banquet when asked.
2. Queen Vashti is removed as queen.
3. Esther is made the new queen as King Xerxes was attracted to her God given beauty.
4. Mordecai uncovers a conspiracy and saves King Xerxes's life from his two guards.
   
5. Haman, King's right hand man, plots to destroy the Jews and tricks the King into allowing him to create a law to kill all Jews.
6. Mordecai asks Esther to help save their people.
7. Esther, Mordecai and all the Jews in Susa fast for 3 days.
8. Esther requests a banquet with just the king and Haman.
9. Haman sees Mordecai going home one day and is filled with rage. His family and friends tell him to build a gallows and to ask the king in the morning to have him hung on it.
10. That night, the king can't sleep, so he has the book of chronicles read to him. He sees that Mordecai saved his life (see 4) and decides to honor him.
11. Haman is exploited by Esther during the banquet and is ordered to be hung by the king.
    
12. A new law is created to allow Jews to defend themselves from the first law created by Haman.

All these events basically sum up the story of Esther and Mordecai and it shows how God is in complete control the whole way to save his people. Each event is necessary for the final result and God's design in all of it is perfect.
When I look back on certain times in my life, I'm able to see God's hand controlling it as well. During the hard times, it's difficult to understand that God is in control, but inevitably looking back, it's so blatantly obvious. Every event is just another piece of the puzzle that God is maneuvering and designing. I hope that these past experiences will allow me to trust in God in the present time without worrying or having doubts. I'll worry about what's going on now and continue to seek guidance and direction through the Spirit and have faith that God will provide in the end.

Day 135

Mar 15: Ezra 1-10
Ezra was a really quick book to read but I enjoyed how faithful and how wise he seemed to be. One part I was encouraged by was when Ezra and his followers from Babylon were about to head back to Jerusalem. Before they left, Ezra "proclaimed a fast, so that we might humble ourselves before our God and ask him for a safe journey for us and our children."
The reason this jumped out at me was the wisdom and understanding that Ezra demonstrated. He knew that him and his followers were in the hands of God and he wanted to fast to show God that he was humble before Him. He then asked God for a safe journey knowing that He could provide this.
The other admirable thing about Ezra was his passion and fervor for repentance. When he heard that some of his followers and even some of the priests had been intermarrying neighboring people with detestable practices, Ezra "tore [his] tunic and cloak, pulled hair from [his] head and beard and sat down appalled." Can you imagine doing that as a leader because of what your people had done? I picture Ezra doing this and it's crazy; he starts with pure anger ripping out hair from his head and beard and then it seems like he's defeated when he just sits down appalled. He must be so invested in his people to do something like this, and also be so ashamed and angry for the sins against God. He eventually confronts his people and they're able to redeem themselves by removing the neighboring people from their lives through deep repentance and forgiveness from God.
I want to be able to share this kind of investment with God, knowing that I need Him more than anything and having that kind of wretchedness when I sin against Him. I want to have the passion that Ezra had for God and I hope and pray that I can slowly remove the distractions in my life that prevent me from having that just as Ezra did for himself and his people.

Day 135

Day 128

Mar 8: 2 Chronicles 21-31
2 Chronicles is a little depressing and discouraging at times because there were so many kings that didn't walk in the ways of the Lord. They were so caught up in the world, sinned against Him and worshiped other random gods. One of the kings though, Hezekiah, did what was right in the eyes of the Lord as he sought God and worked at this wholeheartedly and so he prospered.
What Hezekiah got right was that he sought God and worked at it wholeheartedly. It sounds so easy but putting this into action is another thing. Our time is the price we must pay to have intimacy with God. A verse that reinforces this is 2 Corinthians 9:6 which states,
"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously."
We need to be willing to sacrifice our time to God to be able to grow and mature in Him. One thing I read about recently was how everyone has imperfect ideas and thoughts about who God really is. We may have been taught incorrect theology, or just conjured up some random incorrect thoughts in our heads. Either way, the only way we can purify these thoughts is to put in the time to do so and allow the Holy Spirit to work within us to rid ourselves of the previous misconceptions we may have had. Slowly, the truth will become clearer and clearer and our ability and capacity to serve God and His kingdom will become stronger and stronger. I pray that I would continually be willing to reserve time for God every day and that my understanding of Him would grow too.

Day 124

Mar 4: 2 Chronicles 5-7
Chapter 5:13:
"He is good; his love endures forever."
God is so good to us. He gives us life we don't deserve, gives us a chance to experience his pure joy and saved us from our sinful nature. It's also so amazing how his love endures. It's not just that his love trods along or just goes forever, it endures forever. It withstands all obstacles that confronts it and is able to sustain itself and last an eternity.
When I think of how good God is, I want to be more and more obedient. Faith without obedience and faith without action doesn't really reveal much about that faith. It has no character or grit. It's impossible for us to be completely obedient in this lifetime, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be sanctifying ourselves and striving for perfection right? In another devotional I'm doing, I read over Luke 6:46 which reads:
"Why do you call me, Lord, Lord, and do not do what I say?"
There is no way we can ultimately satisfy this question that Jesus asks us. What we can do is understand that if we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we are submitting to Him in all areas of our life and not just a few. We can't compromise and give ourselves leniency when we feel like it and think we're loving God with our whole hearts. As hard as this may be, I pray that I would come to understand God's grace and love better and that with this increased knowledge and understanding, my capacity to obey would expand as well. I will be able to understand why He is so good to us and how His love can endure throughout eternity.

Day 121

Mar 1: 1 Chronicles 10-19
I've been praying a lot for direction in my life from God and asking Him for a vision on how I could serve His kingdom. I feel like God has revealed to me that I'm in a sort of a training phase in my life the past year and that I should remain patient and continue to be built up through His word before He uses me. All of this was good with me, except today I got really impatient. I've been feeling really detached from work and continue to realize that there's not enough passion there to really sustain me and I had this longing for something more fulfilling. I still don't know what I'll do but God continues to tell me to be still and patient.
In chapter 17, King David was hanging out in his palace when he realized that the ark of the covenant is under a tent. He wanted to know what he should do and that night, God revealed to the prophet Nathan that David's son Solomon would be the one that would build the house of God and not him. King David had good intentions to serve but God works on his own time and his own methods. Similarly, I know my intentions and motives to serve God are good, but I need to be patient and really trust in His provision for me. I don't know if He wants me to stay where I am, or if He plans to use me elsewhere. I just know that I need to be selfless in following Him and have faith that His plan is perfect for me.