I made it through 1 month!! I figured the first month would most likely be the easiest and I can't really say if this is true or not yet but God has continued to provide me with passion to read and the result is that I'm ahead a few days in my readings. I did miss a couple of days here and there so I need to work on things still but overall I think it's been going pretty well. I can already tell that this was a good idea for me to pursue and I'm glad that God pushed this on my heart. Even reading a little bit each day has helped me learn a lot and has helped my overall life in general.
On my very first day, I read about how sin desires to have us, and how we must learn to master it. I'm already learning that reading the bible every day really helps to master sin. Of course there's still plenty of sin in my life but I see more and more how I can get rid of it. I thought that this kind of related with how I played sports my whole life. Playing hockey and golf for a long time put me in a lot of different game time situations. The more I played, the more experience I had, and the more experience I had enabled me to find the best moves or best shots for the situations I was put into. My walk with God feels similar to me. The more I read the bible and the more I pray gives me more spiritual experience. This spiritual experience in turn helps me master my sins and learn how to avoid them. I still feel like a noob as far as my spiritual experience goes, but I'm glad that God is pushing me to read more and learn more about him. I want to say thanks to everyone that has been keeping me accountable, it really helps a lot even if it may not seem like it.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Day 29
What a hectic few days it's been. It's Sunday night now and I feel like this is the first time all week i've had a second to myself. With all the holidays, it's so easy to get distracted and side tracked with everything that's going on. I just pray that I can continue to stay focused on God, continue to prepare my mind for Costa Rica and keep up with my readings.
Nov 29: Leviticus 8-10
Do you ever try to justify the sins in your life? Not the obvious ones that we know are sins, but maybe the more subtle ones that we try to work around. I know it has to happen a lot, either due to lack of knowledge of God's laws or just that we are too easy on ourselves with sin.
In chapter 10, Aaron's sons Nadab and Abihu who were priests and leaders of the Israelites "offered unauthorized fire before the Lord, contrary to his command." They gave God this offering that God didn't command them to do and the result follows: "So fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed them, and they died before the Lord." That's some heavy stuff to me. These two holy men that were anointed by God to be priests were killed for this subtle, yet inexcusable sin in God's eyes. They should have known better than to offer a sacrifice to God that was not holy or consecrated in his eyes. The line that pops out to me even more is when Moses speaks to Aaron. His reaction to everything was summed up in 3 words;
"Aaron remained silent." He had nothing to say. His two sons were just killed by the hand of God, and he had nothing. Instead of look for excuses or even argue with God, he just remained silent. To me, that's the reaction we should have instead of finding excuses for our sins. Aaron knew his sons had no excuse for not bringing holy offerings to the Lord. He didn't look to justify what they did, he realized their sins and couldn't come up with any type of rebuttal. Instead of trying to find the cheap way out, or justifying the subtle sins in my life, I need to learn God's laws well and bring a genuine heart of forgiveness to him. God will take care of the rest with his amazing grace.
Nov 29: Leviticus 8-10
Do you ever try to justify the sins in your life? Not the obvious ones that we know are sins, but maybe the more subtle ones that we try to work around. I know it has to happen a lot, either due to lack of knowledge of God's laws or just that we are too easy on ourselves with sin.
In chapter 10, Aaron's sons Nadab and Abihu who were priests and leaders of the Israelites "offered unauthorized fire before the Lord, contrary to his command." They gave God this offering that God didn't command them to do and the result follows: "So fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed them, and they died before the Lord." That's some heavy stuff to me. These two holy men that were anointed by God to be priests were killed for this subtle, yet inexcusable sin in God's eyes. They should have known better than to offer a sacrifice to God that was not holy or consecrated in his eyes. The line that pops out to me even more is when Moses speaks to Aaron. His reaction to everything was summed up in 3 words;
"Aaron remained silent." He had nothing to say. His two sons were just killed by the hand of God, and he had nothing. Instead of look for excuses or even argue with God, he just remained silent. To me, that's the reaction we should have instead of finding excuses for our sins. Aaron knew his sons had no excuse for not bringing holy offerings to the Lord. He didn't look to justify what they did, he realized their sins and couldn't come up with any type of rebuttal. Instead of trying to find the cheap way out, or justifying the subtle sins in my life, I need to learn God's laws well and bring a genuine heart of forgiveness to him. God will take care of the rest with his amazing grace.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! I love thanksgiving for obvious reasons; get to see family and old friends, awesome food, watch football (even though they're usually bad games), the nap after eating is probably the best nap of the year, and it's a great time to reflect on how much God blesses me. Here's my list of things I'm thankful for:
1. God and his amazing love, grace, and mercy for me. God gives me everything I have so naturally I am the most thankful to him.
2. My family - It sucks that this year we had thanksgiving without my dad b/c he's in China but it made me appreciate him even more. He's halfway across the world trying to provide for our family and I know he does it all out of love. I did get to see Ernie for the first time in a few months and Carol and her husband came down with Sammie the cutest puppy ever so I'm very thankful for all of them.
3. Diana - Di's been such a blessing on my life. Everyone knows how cheery, upbeat and outgoing she is which I love about her, but the thing I love even more is how she pushes me to be stronger with God. Thanks DI!!!!
4. Friends - I have awesome friends and I'm thankful for them all. I'm also blessed that God has given me people in my life that I can talk to about my spiritual life. I've lacked this growing up throughout highschool and college mostly b/c of my own pride, but finally I'm seeing how much of a positive impact it has.
5. My job - I don't think anyone even knows what I do but it's ok. I have a good steady job in a growing industry and I'm thankful that I can say that in these harsh times. I have co-workers that are my age so I actually have people I can talk to and relate with at work and it definitely helps.
6. My health - :knock on wood: I rarely ever get sick. I definitely take this for granted b/c it's so normal to me. I need to thank God for this everyday though b/c I'm so healthy yet there are people out there that are not so healthy. We have a new pediatric study at work where kids and infants are being blasted with radioactive therapy for a cancer called neuroblastoma. They have to then be in radiation isolation for a few days with extremely minimal contact with family and even caretakers b/c of the high levels of radiation. It sucks hearing about things like this esp with kids. I need to be thankful for my health...
7. blogger.com, christianity.com - these two websites help me track my progress of trying to read the bible in a year. I'm so glad I found them or it'd probably be a lot harder to finish.
I'm thankful for a lot of other things but those are the main ones. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving like I did!
1. God and his amazing love, grace, and mercy for me. God gives me everything I have so naturally I am the most thankful to him.
2. My family - It sucks that this year we had thanksgiving without my dad b/c he's in China but it made me appreciate him even more. He's halfway across the world trying to provide for our family and I know he does it all out of love. I did get to see Ernie for the first time in a few months and Carol and her husband came down with Sammie the cutest puppy ever so I'm very thankful for all of them.
3. Diana - Di's been such a blessing on my life. Everyone knows how cheery, upbeat and outgoing she is which I love about her, but the thing I love even more is how she pushes me to be stronger with God. Thanks DI!!!!
4. Friends - I have awesome friends and I'm thankful for them all. I'm also blessed that God has given me people in my life that I can talk to about my spiritual life. I've lacked this growing up throughout highschool and college mostly b/c of my own pride, but finally I'm seeing how much of a positive impact it has.
5. My job - I don't think anyone even knows what I do but it's ok. I have a good steady job in a growing industry and I'm thankful that I can say that in these harsh times. I have co-workers that are my age so I actually have people I can talk to and relate with at work and it definitely helps.
6. My health - :knock on wood: I rarely ever get sick. I definitely take this for granted b/c it's so normal to me. I need to thank God for this everyday though b/c I'm so healthy yet there are people out there that are not so healthy. We have a new pediatric study at work where kids and infants are being blasted with radioactive therapy for a cancer called neuroblastoma. They have to then be in radiation isolation for a few days with extremely minimal contact with family and even caretakers b/c of the high levels of radiation. It sucks hearing about things like this esp with kids. I need to be thankful for my health...
7. blogger.com, christianity.com - these two websites help me track my progress of trying to read the bible in a year. I'm so glad I found them or it'd probably be a lot harder to finish.
I'm thankful for a lot of other things but those are the main ones. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving like I did!
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Day 24
Nov 24: Leviticus 1-4
The first 4 chapters of Leviticus weren't as action packed or as interesting as a lot of the other chapters I've read so far. It goes over burnt, grain, fellowship and sin offerings that people are to bring to the tent of meeting which was just created at the end of Exodus. I had a hard time thinking about what to write; it seemed like the things they did back then are so different than what we do now. God managed to pick something out for me though. All the animals that were being sacrificed were to be without defect. I guess this is a small favor for God to ask of but I think it shows how much we should respect and revere God by only bringing him the best. Now I know we aren't going to be sacrificing any animals to God, but this most certainly relates to our lives. Are we bringing our best efforts to serve and love God? I know I'm not. It's not an easy task either, but I'm glad God reminds me of this. It's not about reading the bible every day, or setting aside an hour a day for God; our entire lives should be a worship to him. Everything we do should be worship; it's not confined to just singing, writing and praying to him. As hard as this is, all I think I can do is to pray for obedience, pray for maturity, and pray that he will help me love him completely.
The first 4 chapters of Leviticus weren't as action packed or as interesting as a lot of the other chapters I've read so far. It goes over burnt, grain, fellowship and sin offerings that people are to bring to the tent of meeting which was just created at the end of Exodus. I had a hard time thinking about what to write; it seemed like the things they did back then are so different than what we do now. God managed to pick something out for me though. All the animals that were being sacrificed were to be without defect. I guess this is a small favor for God to ask of but I think it shows how much we should respect and revere God by only bringing him the best. Now I know we aren't going to be sacrificing any animals to God, but this most certainly relates to our lives. Are we bringing our best efforts to serve and love God? I know I'm not. It's not an easy task either, but I'm glad God reminds me of this. It's not about reading the bible every day, or setting aside an hour a day for God; our entire lives should be a worship to him. Everything we do should be worship; it's not confined to just singing, writing and praying to him. As hard as this is, all I think I can do is to pray for obedience, pray for maturity, and pray that he will help me love him completely.
Day 23
Nov 23: Exodus 35-40
I want to know how God intends on using me for his kingdom. I don't think I have any great skills or anything extraordinary that God could do with me. Last year though, I stepped out of my comfort zone and joined up the high school ministry at my old church, Princeton Alliance, without knowing any of the leaders or any of the kids. I got to know a few of the kids a little better though and was impressed at how mature they were already in their walks with God. I also saw the commitment level and sacrifice the leaders made and it really showed me a glimpse of what serving was about. Overall though, it was a challenging time for me. I had the heart to help these kids out having already been through high school and knowing what goes on but I was never able to connect or get through as much as I wanted and found myself frustrated a lot.
In these chapters, God uses Bezalel and Oholiab to create all the pieces for his tabernacle. He provides them with the specific skills necessary to do this, and as a result they're able to serve God and create an elegant and sophisticated tabernacle to hold the things that are holy to him.
It may seem like God doesn't give me specific skills or gifts to serve Him with. My somewhat disheartening experience in the high school ministry might even reinforce that. But I know that's not true. Maybe God is just giving me experience. Maybe he's preparing me before he uses me. Maybe Costa Rica will open my eyes to new opportunities to serve. I'm not really sure, but I know that God knows. All I can do is continue to learn and grow in Him and trust that he'll use me in whatever way he can as long as I keep my heart open for it. Lord, help me to be ready to go when you are ready to use me.
I want to know how God intends on using me for his kingdom. I don't think I have any great skills or anything extraordinary that God could do with me. Last year though, I stepped out of my comfort zone and joined up the high school ministry at my old church, Princeton Alliance, without knowing any of the leaders or any of the kids. I got to know a few of the kids a little better though and was impressed at how mature they were already in their walks with God. I also saw the commitment level and sacrifice the leaders made and it really showed me a glimpse of what serving was about. Overall though, it was a challenging time for me. I had the heart to help these kids out having already been through high school and knowing what goes on but I was never able to connect or get through as much as I wanted and found myself frustrated a lot.
In these chapters, God uses Bezalel and Oholiab to create all the pieces for his tabernacle. He provides them with the specific skills necessary to do this, and as a result they're able to serve God and create an elegant and sophisticated tabernacle to hold the things that are holy to him.
It may seem like God doesn't give me specific skills or gifts to serve Him with. My somewhat disheartening experience in the high school ministry might even reinforce that. But I know that's not true. Maybe God is just giving me experience. Maybe he's preparing me before he uses me. Maybe Costa Rica will open my eyes to new opportunities to serve. I'm not really sure, but I know that God knows. All I can do is continue to learn and grow in Him and trust that he'll use me in whatever way he can as long as I keep my heart open for it. Lord, help me to be ready to go when you are ready to use me.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Day 22
Nov 22: Exodus 28-34
I find it very difficult to remain really consistent in my spiritual life. Ever since high school, going on retreats, I'd get these crazy highs only to inevitably fall flat on my face a month or so later. I know the emotions that I felt were real; that God really did show his goodness and grace to me. I also know that that's not all our religion is about, there's so much more you need to be a mature christian.
When Moses goes up to Mount Sinai to speak to God for a long period of time, Aaron and all the Israelites get impatient and wonder what happened to him. Believing he may not come back, the Israelites, led by Aaron, ended up gathering all their gold and making it into a gold calf which they worshiped as an idol god.
I can relate to Aaron to an extent in this story; not by worshiping an idol god like a gold calf, but I do get my priorities mixed up a lot and God may take a back seat to them at times. Is that not so different? These times are frustrating to me; just like Aaron should know how apparent God made himself in freeing the Israelites from Egypt, God is so apparent to me by providing for me, answering my prayers and blessing me more than I ever deserve. In these times though, God eventually shows himself to me. All the years of going to church, going to retreats and revivals helped me become stronger even if I did fall soon after. God was building me a foundation that could ground me, and each new experience adds to that foundation and it only gets stronger. I find hope in a God that is always looking out for me even when I'm down and I find that those instances of falling happen less and less. I've learned that our relationship with God isn't something that will just click on and be good forever. It's something that needs work like any other relationship and knowing that God is looking out for me gives me hope to continue to pursue him regardless of how many times I may fall.
I find it very difficult to remain really consistent in my spiritual life. Ever since high school, going on retreats, I'd get these crazy highs only to inevitably fall flat on my face a month or so later. I know the emotions that I felt were real; that God really did show his goodness and grace to me. I also know that that's not all our religion is about, there's so much more you need to be a mature christian.
When Moses goes up to Mount Sinai to speak to God for a long period of time, Aaron and all the Israelites get impatient and wonder what happened to him. Believing he may not come back, the Israelites, led by Aaron, ended up gathering all their gold and making it into a gold calf which they worshiped as an idol god.
I can relate to Aaron to an extent in this story; not by worshiping an idol god like a gold calf, but I do get my priorities mixed up a lot and God may take a back seat to them at times. Is that not so different? These times are frustrating to me; just like Aaron should know how apparent God made himself in freeing the Israelites from Egypt, God is so apparent to me by providing for me, answering my prayers and blessing me more than I ever deserve. In these times though, God eventually shows himself to me. All the years of going to church, going to retreats and revivals helped me become stronger even if I did fall soon after. God was building me a foundation that could ground me, and each new experience adds to that foundation and it only gets stronger. I find hope in a God that is always looking out for me even when I'm down and I find that those instances of falling happen less and less. I've learned that our relationship with God isn't something that will just click on and be good forever. It's something that needs work like any other relationship and knowing that God is looking out for me gives me hope to continue to pursue him regardless of how many times I may fall.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Day 20
Nov 20: Exodus 24-27
A few posts back, I said that sometimes I try to take control too much of what's going on in my spiritual life and in turn it makes me feel even farther from God. It seems like he might not care what's going on with me. This frustration blinds me and leads me to think nonsensical things such as this. These few chapters showed me how much God does care though. God is speaking to Moses and gives him the most clear cut set of directions on how to build a tabernacle for him that includes the ark of the covenant, a table, a lampstand, an altar of burnt offerings, and a courtyard. He gives measurements, what type of wood to use, what type of overlay to use, what to actually do with all these things and it goes on and on. God's instructions to Moses here are all for things that glorify his name and may seem selfish by God, but God is selfish for us. Shouldn't everything we do, be done to ultimately glorify God anyways? The work we do at our jobs, the fellowship we have with friends, the interactions we have with strangers, we should know that everything we do is to lift up his name and not ours. If we just learn to listen to God, if we hear his precise instructions for our lives, I know we can all make a big impact for his kingdom.
A few posts back, I said that sometimes I try to take control too much of what's going on in my spiritual life and in turn it makes me feel even farther from God. It seems like he might not care what's going on with me. This frustration blinds me and leads me to think nonsensical things such as this. These few chapters showed me how much God does care though. God is speaking to Moses and gives him the most clear cut set of directions on how to build a tabernacle for him that includes the ark of the covenant, a table, a lampstand, an altar of burnt offerings, and a courtyard. He gives measurements, what type of wood to use, what type of overlay to use, what to actually do with all these things and it goes on and on. God's instructions to Moses here are all for things that glorify his name and may seem selfish by God, but God is selfish for us. Shouldn't everything we do, be done to ultimately glorify God anyways? The work we do at our jobs, the fellowship we have with friends, the interactions we have with strangers, we should know that everything we do is to lift up his name and not ours. If we just learn to listen to God, if we hear his precise instructions for our lives, I know we can all make a big impact for his kingdom.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Day 19
Nov 19: Exodus 21-23
I've written a decent amount already about letting God take control of your life. About being faithful and learning how to really follow. In this reading, God further reinforces just how much he is the leader and not us. God sends down an angel to lead the Israelites and within a matter of about 10 verses, God says all of this:
"I will take away sickness from among you"
"I will give you a full life span"
"I will send my terror ahead of you and throw into confusion every nation you encounter"
"I will make all your enemies turn their backs and run"
"I will establish your borders from the Red Sea to the Sea of the Philistines"
I think it's pretty clear that God is letting the Israelites know that it's ALL him. All they need to do is listen and follow. It's comforting to know that God has our back like this. God may not lay it out like this for us as he did for the Israelites but he still communicates with us. A while back, Pastor Meyer gave a sermon about how we can know if God is speaking to us or if what we're hearing is just our own mind playing tricks on us. His answer was that the more time we spend with God, the easier it is to discern these things. We learn to slowly understand his will more and more and can understand when it is God speaking to us, and understand when we might be telling ourselves what we want to hear. What I need to do then is become closer with God, so that I'll be able to hear his voice and really learn how to follow.
I've written a decent amount already about letting God take control of your life. About being faithful and learning how to really follow. In this reading, God further reinforces just how much he is the leader and not us. God sends down an angel to lead the Israelites and within a matter of about 10 verses, God says all of this:
"I will take away sickness from among you"
"I will give you a full life span"
"I will send my terror ahead of you and throw into confusion every nation you encounter"
"I will make all your enemies turn their backs and run"
"I will establish your borders from the Red Sea to the Sea of the Philistines"
I think it's pretty clear that God is letting the Israelites know that it's ALL him. All they need to do is listen and follow. It's comforting to know that God has our back like this. God may not lay it out like this for us as he did for the Israelites but he still communicates with us. A while back, Pastor Meyer gave a sermon about how we can know if God is speaking to us or if what we're hearing is just our own mind playing tricks on us. His answer was that the more time we spend with God, the easier it is to discern these things. We learn to slowly understand his will more and more and can understand when it is God speaking to us, and understand when we might be telling ourselves what we want to hear. What I need to do then is become closer with God, so that I'll be able to hear his voice and really learn how to follow.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Day 18
Nov 18: Exodus 17-20
When I first read these chapters, I couldn't help but think, man these Israelites complain SO much. They complained when the king of Egypt came after them, they complained when they had no food, and then they complained when they had no water, even though God kept answering their prayers. God delivered them from Egypt, provided them with manna and quail, and struck a rock and brought upon water for them. He was always there for them, yet they continued to complain.
The more I thought about it though, the more I realized I'm even worse than the Israelites were. I think as a society, we are so spoiled and we complain a LOT. Even trivial and petty things bother us and we moan and groan about it. At least they complained about having no food and water. We complain about our jobs, not having nicer things, being tired all the time, and things like that. God may interact with us differently now than he did in biblical times, but it's still so obvious that he is always there for us. God provides me with a stable job in an unstable economy, I always have food to eat and I always have a bed to sleep in. Most importantly, God gives me salvation and eternal life through him. How can we complain when we have that?
When I first read these chapters, I couldn't help but think, man these Israelites complain SO much. They complained when the king of Egypt came after them, they complained when they had no food, and then they complained when they had no water, even though God kept answering their prayers. God delivered them from Egypt, provided them with manna and quail, and struck a rock and brought upon water for them. He was always there for them, yet they continued to complain.
The more I thought about it though, the more I realized I'm even worse than the Israelites were. I think as a society, we are so spoiled and we complain a LOT. Even trivial and petty things bother us and we moan and groan about it. At least they complained about having no food and water. We complain about our jobs, not having nicer things, being tired all the time, and things like that. God may interact with us differently now than he did in biblical times, but it's still so obvious that he is always there for us. God provides me with a stable job in an unstable economy, I always have food to eat and I always have a bed to sleep in. Most importantly, God gives me salvation and eternal life through him. How can we complain when we have that?
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Day 17
Nov 17: Exodus 14-16
There have been so many times in my life where I feel like I'm trying so hard to pray and seek God out for answers, yet I don't see any answers or feel his presence upon me. Needless to say, it's really frustrating and I would foolishly think that God is ignoring me or is angry with me and doesn't want to deal with me. The biggest realization I have about these times is that it was me trying to get things right. It was always, what can I do? What should I be praying about? I would get so caught up in trying to take control myself, that I would miss what God was trying to tell me.
The context in Exodus is a little bit different but I think it still applies. The Passover and all the plagues upon Egypt have forced the king to let Moses lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Once they leave though, the new King of Egypt has a change of heart about letting them go and decides to chase after them to take them captive once again. The Israelites start bugging out and forget that it was God who rescued them. When they complain and fear for their lives again, Moses speaks for God and says, "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." This is such a short, yet extremely powerful verse for me. Why do we struggle so much within ourselves to try to make things right all the time? We are always trying to take control of things with our human intelligence yet God shows us that HE is in control with his infinite wisdom. I think the harder WE try to take control, the farther we feel from God. We're trying to take over his job almost of being our Savior and provider. Sometimes, all we need to do is chill out and let him fight for us.
There have been so many times in my life where I feel like I'm trying so hard to pray and seek God out for answers, yet I don't see any answers or feel his presence upon me. Needless to say, it's really frustrating and I would foolishly think that God is ignoring me or is angry with me and doesn't want to deal with me. The biggest realization I have about these times is that it was me trying to get things right. It was always, what can I do? What should I be praying about? I would get so caught up in trying to take control myself, that I would miss what God was trying to tell me.
The context in Exodus is a little bit different but I think it still applies. The Passover and all the plagues upon Egypt have forced the king to let Moses lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Once they leave though, the new King of Egypt has a change of heart about letting them go and decides to chase after them to take them captive once again. The Israelites start bugging out and forget that it was God who rescued them. When they complain and fear for their lives again, Moses speaks for God and says, "The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." This is such a short, yet extremely powerful verse for me. Why do we struggle so much within ourselves to try to make things right all the time? We are always trying to take control of things with our human intelligence yet God shows us that HE is in control with his infinite wisdom. I think the harder WE try to take control, the farther we feel from God. We're trying to take over his job almost of being our Savior and provider. Sometimes, all we need to do is chill out and let him fight for us.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Day 16
I missed my readings fri-sun. It was tough considering I was around my friends all weekend but this can't be an excuse for me. I need to continue to ask God to make me hungry for his word and be able to set aside some time to read and just be in God's presence. I'm glad this happened early though so I can learn from it and plan ahead better next time.
Gen 47-50, Exodus 1-13
I learned a lot from Genesis this time around. Reading the word and writing about it has most definitely helped me absorb and learn more than I would just by reading. It takes up a lot more time to write about it but it also gives me more time to meditate and analyze the things that are going on.
The first thing that pops out to me in Exodus is how I need to listen to God above anything else. At a prayer meeting a few Saturdays ago, Pastor Jae said we need to live our lives by the answers that God provides us. I didn't really think of it this way, but it means that we should be praying and talking to God about everything that is going on in our lives. Should we ask God for advice and help in certain areas and not others? God is the expert on everything and we should go to him for everything and listen to what he tells us.
In the first chapter of Exodus, the Israelites are starting to become oppressed by the new King of Egypt and he orders these two midwives named Shiphrah and Puah to kill all Hebrew boys that are being born. Instead of doing this though, they feared God more and let the boys live. It's admirable to see that they most likely risked their own lives by disobeying the new King of Egypt, to instead obey their true King whom they feared even more. I want to get to the point where my life is lead by God. So many times, my own agenda comes into play over God's and I'll veer off his path. I need to learn to listen and follow better, to live my life through the answers he provides me with.
Gen 47-50, Exodus 1-13
I learned a lot from Genesis this time around. Reading the word and writing about it has most definitely helped me absorb and learn more than I would just by reading. It takes up a lot more time to write about it but it also gives me more time to meditate and analyze the things that are going on.
The first thing that pops out to me in Exodus is how I need to listen to God above anything else. At a prayer meeting a few Saturdays ago, Pastor Jae said we need to live our lives by the answers that God provides us. I didn't really think of it this way, but it means that we should be praying and talking to God about everything that is going on in our lives. Should we ask God for advice and help in certain areas and not others? God is the expert on everything and we should go to him for everything and listen to what he tells us.
In the first chapter of Exodus, the Israelites are starting to become oppressed by the new King of Egypt and he orders these two midwives named Shiphrah and Puah to kill all Hebrew boys that are being born. Instead of doing this though, they feared God more and let the boys live. It's admirable to see that they most likely risked their own lives by disobeying the new King of Egypt, to instead obey their true King whom they feared even more. I want to get to the point where my life is lead by God. So many times, my own agenda comes into play over God's and I'll veer off his path. I need to learn to listen and follow better, to live my life through the answers he provides me with.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Day 12
Nov 12: Gen 44-46
I love how wise Joseph is. When he is revealing his true identity to his brothers, he tells them that God had used them to sell Joseph and that Joseph was now being used to save them from the famine. It seems like such a crazy plan that God had, but Joseph trusted in it 100% and is finally in the place to see it all come to fruition.
I've been hearing a lot these days about Godly wisdom vs human intelligence and how completely different they are. You would think that if you were a really bright and smart person, that you would be wise too but this isn't the case. I also think that your intelligence is something that you are born with, you're either smart or not very smart and there's not much wiggle room there. Wisdom, on the other hand, is something you can learn, something that God can teach you if you really seek it out. I know I'm reading Genesis, but I pray that I can be like Solomon and really ask God for wisdom; not for personal or selfish reasons, but so that I can glorify God more in how I live my life. So I can discern right from wrong, so I can help brothers and sisters in need with a Godly perspective, and so that the light God has provided me continues to shine.
I love how wise Joseph is. When he is revealing his true identity to his brothers, he tells them that God had used them to sell Joseph and that Joseph was now being used to save them from the famine. It seems like such a crazy plan that God had, but Joseph trusted in it 100% and is finally in the place to see it all come to fruition.
I've been hearing a lot these days about Godly wisdom vs human intelligence and how completely different they are. You would think that if you were a really bright and smart person, that you would be wise too but this isn't the case. I also think that your intelligence is something that you are born with, you're either smart or not very smart and there's not much wiggle room there. Wisdom, on the other hand, is something you can learn, something that God can teach you if you really seek it out. I know I'm reading Genesis, but I pray that I can be like Solomon and really ask God for wisdom; not for personal or selfish reasons, but so that I can glorify God more in how I live my life. So I can discern right from wrong, so I can help brothers and sisters in need with a Godly perspective, and so that the light God has provided me continues to shine.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Day 11.5
Nov 11: Gen 42-43
Sin is such a draining and consuming thing. We either get so mesmerized by sin that we don't even know what we're doing, or we feel so guilty about sins we repeatedly do that we forget about God's grace. All of Joseph's brothers are consumed by their sin of selling him as a slave, even almost 20 years after the incident. They are forced to go to Egypt during the famine where they encounter Joseph but do not recognize him. Joseph does. He treats them harshly at first and starts accusing them of being spies and eventually tells them to go back home and bring back Benjamin, their youngest brother, to prove that they're not lying. He keeps one of the brothers as a prisoner to make sure they do this. During this span, Joseph's brothers are freaked out. They almost acknowledge the fact that all this is happening because of what they did to Joseph, and even Jacob their father brings it up when they tell him what happened:
"Surely we are being punished because of our brother"
"That's why this distress has come upon us"
"Didn't I tell you not to sin against the boy?"
Jacob: "You have deprived me of my children. Joseph is no more and Simeon is no more and now you want to take Benjamin"
Talk about a lingering effect that the one sin has caused this family. Even though it could have taken 20 years, it seems that the brothers are genuinely sad and hurt that they could have done such a thing to their younger brother.
I've had problems with guilt before and I still do. I find myself asking for forgiveness from God, but at the same time ask him, why should you forgive me for something I repeatedly do? The guilt overwhelms me to the point where I don't even want to ask for forgiveness b/c I feel like such a failure. But I've slowly learned that I need to let go of this prideful behavior. I'm almost insulting God by doing this. I need to seek out his forgiveness with a genuine heart, I need to seek out his guidance on how to prevent the sin, and then leave it all to him to show me his amazing grace which covers all our sins big or small.
Sin is such a draining and consuming thing. We either get so mesmerized by sin that we don't even know what we're doing, or we feel so guilty about sins we repeatedly do that we forget about God's grace. All of Joseph's brothers are consumed by their sin of selling him as a slave, even almost 20 years after the incident. They are forced to go to Egypt during the famine where they encounter Joseph but do not recognize him. Joseph does. He treats them harshly at first and starts accusing them of being spies and eventually tells them to go back home and bring back Benjamin, their youngest brother, to prove that they're not lying. He keeps one of the brothers as a prisoner to make sure they do this. During this span, Joseph's brothers are freaked out. They almost acknowledge the fact that all this is happening because of what they did to Joseph, and even Jacob their father brings it up when they tell him what happened:
"Surely we are being punished because of our brother"
"That's why this distress has come upon us"
"Didn't I tell you not to sin against the boy?"
Jacob: "You have deprived me of my children. Joseph is no more and Simeon is no more and now you want to take Benjamin"
Talk about a lingering effect that the one sin has caused this family. Even though it could have taken 20 years, it seems that the brothers are genuinely sad and hurt that they could have done such a thing to their younger brother.
I've had problems with guilt before and I still do. I find myself asking for forgiveness from God, but at the same time ask him, why should you forgive me for something I repeatedly do? The guilt overwhelms me to the point where I don't even want to ask for forgiveness b/c I feel like such a failure. But I've slowly learned that I need to let go of this prideful behavior. I'm almost insulting God by doing this. I need to seek out his forgiveness with a genuine heart, I need to seek out his guidance on how to prevent the sin, and then leave it all to him to show me his amazing grace which covers all our sins big or small.
Day 11
Nov 11: Gen 39-41
I need to learn to ALWAYS trust God no matter what my circumstance is. The story of Joseph tells me so. How would I feel if I was sold as a slave by my own brothers? Or if I was thrown innocently into prison for two years? I'm not sure if trusting God would be the first thing on my mind, but he shows us that this is exactly where we need to put him. One subtle verse really popped out to me in chapter 41 when Pharaoh calls Joseph to try to interpret his dreams; "So Pharaoh sent for Joseph, and he was quickly brought from the dungeon. When he had shaved and changed his clothes, he came before Pharaoh." Joseph was not exactly living the life for those two years in prison. He was in a dungeon, he probably had a dirty mustache and beard, probably had ratty clothes and also probably stunk. Yet, he remained faithful to God and there is nothing in the bible that indicates otherwise. What is the result of this faith? He becomes the 2nd most powerful man in all of Egypt next to Pharaoh.
No matter how down we are, no matter how desperate we may be at times in our lives, no matter how hopeless things may seem, God shows us that there is hope. His plan is being executed and if we trust in that plan, God will deliver us. Things in my life are going pretty well right now, I don't have many complaints. I pray that when some adversity does comes up though, I may remember what I wrote here and trust in God and wait out the bad times, that even better times will be ahead in the near future.
I need to learn to ALWAYS trust God no matter what my circumstance is. The story of Joseph tells me so. How would I feel if I was sold as a slave by my own brothers? Or if I was thrown innocently into prison for two years? I'm not sure if trusting God would be the first thing on my mind, but he shows us that this is exactly where we need to put him. One subtle verse really popped out to me in chapter 41 when Pharaoh calls Joseph to try to interpret his dreams; "So Pharaoh sent for Joseph, and he was quickly brought from the dungeon. When he had shaved and changed his clothes, he came before Pharaoh." Joseph was not exactly living the life for those two years in prison. He was in a dungeon, he probably had a dirty mustache and beard, probably had ratty clothes and also probably stunk. Yet, he remained faithful to God and there is nothing in the bible that indicates otherwise. What is the result of this faith? He becomes the 2nd most powerful man in all of Egypt next to Pharaoh.
No matter how down we are, no matter how desperate we may be at times in our lives, no matter how hopeless things may seem, God shows us that there is hope. His plan is being executed and if we trust in that plan, God will deliver us. Things in my life are going pretty well right now, I don't have many complaints. I pray that when some adversity does comes up though, I may remember what I wrote here and trust in God and wait out the bad times, that even better times will be ahead in the near future.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Day 10
Nov 10: Gen 36-38
One thing I've been working on lately is trying to be obedient to God. In chapter 38, God gives me a little more reason to do this. It doesn't say how, but God put to death the first two sons of Judah, who was the son of Jacob, b/c he saw wickedness in them. I don't want my obedience to necessarily stem from fear of God, moreso from love for God, but at the same time I think I need to realize that God is capable of anything at anytime and that I should always have a little fear in me b/c of this. This should also push me to resist any temptations to sin. There are so many times throughout even 1 day where you can just say whatever and give in to temptation, from getting road rage, to dealing with difficult people at work to just being too complacent once you get home. But I think if we look at these temptations as a way to succeed instead of as a way to fail, it will be so much more rewarding. Everytime I don't get pissed at that stupid driver, everytime I don't get fed up with that difficult co-worker, and everytime I come home and read as opposed to laying in bed is a chance to worship God in those instances by saying I choose to obey you rather than say whatever.
One thing I've been working on lately is trying to be obedient to God. In chapter 38, God gives me a little more reason to do this. It doesn't say how, but God put to death the first two sons of Judah, who was the son of Jacob, b/c he saw wickedness in them. I don't want my obedience to necessarily stem from fear of God, moreso from love for God, but at the same time I think I need to realize that God is capable of anything at anytime and that I should always have a little fear in me b/c of this. This should also push me to resist any temptations to sin. There are so many times throughout even 1 day where you can just say whatever and give in to temptation, from getting road rage, to dealing with difficult people at work to just being too complacent once you get home. But I think if we look at these temptations as a way to succeed instead of as a way to fail, it will be so much more rewarding. Everytime I don't get pissed at that stupid driver, everytime I don't get fed up with that difficult co-worker, and everytime I come home and read as opposed to laying in bed is a chance to worship God in those instances by saying I choose to obey you rather than say whatever.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Day 9
Nov 9: Gen 32-35
I think Jacob is one of my favorite people from the old testament. I know he deceived his brother Esau and his father Isaac, but his motives are always to be blessed by God and he'll stop at nothing for that. In chapter 32, Jacob wrestles with God in the form of man at night...til DAYBREAK. This has to be for at least 4 or 5 hours. When the man asks Jacob to let him go b/c its daybreak, Jacob replies that he won't let him go unless he blesses him. He just wrestled for how long and doesn't want to stop? Jacob wrestled with God literally , but I think this shows that God wants to wrestle with us figuratively. There are so many things we question and are unsure of in our lives. Instead of just succumbing to it, or just accepting it, I'm pretty sure God wants us to struggle with these things and actively look for answers through prayer and meditation. Also, I wish that I had as much desire and perseverance as Jacob did to be blessed by God, and not blessed with material things, but blessed with wisdom and things that will help glorify his kingdom.
I think the whole reason Jacob was wrestling with God in the first place is because he might have felt that God was leaving him hanging. The night before Jacob wrestled God, one of his messengers told him that Esau was coming to see him with 400 of his men. This was not looking good for Jacob. The last time these two were around each other, Jacob stole a pretty sweet blessing from Esau and Esau swore he would find Jacob and kill him. When Esau came though, his reaction was completely opposite of what you may have thought it would be. Esau "ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept." Now the bible doesn't really go into what Esau had been doing the whole time Jacob was busy making his army of a family, but you have to know that God was a big part of it. Back in those days, I feel like being blessed by your father who was such a man of God, was a huge deal. Jacob deceitfully stole this from Esau, yet Esau was still able to forgive him and even weep with him after their long absence. Only with true healing from God could this be possible. I don't think it's in our instinct to forgive people like this. We have to take that burden, that pain that was inflicted and just take it if we truly want to forgive. If Jesus could do this for us, if Jesus could die on the cross for us without having done anything to deserve it, could we be so proud to say we can't forgive someone for whatever they've done to us? It can't be worse than the agony we as mankind give God for being such sinners. Let's find hope in our God and model our lives after his.
I think Jacob is one of my favorite people from the old testament. I know he deceived his brother Esau and his father Isaac, but his motives are always to be blessed by God and he'll stop at nothing for that. In chapter 32, Jacob wrestles with God in the form of man at night...til DAYBREAK. This has to be for at least 4 or 5 hours. When the man asks Jacob to let him go b/c its daybreak, Jacob replies that he won't let him go unless he blesses him. He just wrestled for how long and doesn't want to stop? Jacob wrestled with God literally , but I think this shows that God wants to wrestle with us figuratively. There are so many things we question and are unsure of in our lives. Instead of just succumbing to it, or just accepting it, I'm pretty sure God wants us to struggle with these things and actively look for answers through prayer and meditation. Also, I wish that I had as much desire and perseverance as Jacob did to be blessed by God, and not blessed with material things, but blessed with wisdom and things that will help glorify his kingdom.
I think the whole reason Jacob was wrestling with God in the first place is because he might have felt that God was leaving him hanging. The night before Jacob wrestled God, one of his messengers told him that Esau was coming to see him with 400 of his men. This was not looking good for Jacob. The last time these two were around each other, Jacob stole a pretty sweet blessing from Esau and Esau swore he would find Jacob and kill him. When Esau came though, his reaction was completely opposite of what you may have thought it would be. Esau "ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept." Now the bible doesn't really go into what Esau had been doing the whole time Jacob was busy making his army of a family, but you have to know that God was a big part of it. Back in those days, I feel like being blessed by your father who was such a man of God, was a huge deal. Jacob deceitfully stole this from Esau, yet Esau was still able to forgive him and even weep with him after their long absence. Only with true healing from God could this be possible. I don't think it's in our instinct to forgive people like this. We have to take that burden, that pain that was inflicted and just take it if we truly want to forgive. If Jesus could do this for us, if Jesus could die on the cross for us without having done anything to deserve it, could we be so proud to say we can't forgive someone for whatever they've done to us? It can't be worse than the agony we as mankind give God for being such sinners. Let's find hope in our God and model our lives after his.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Day 8
It's been a week now that I've been reading the bible everyday. I actually missed my reading yesterday b/c it was a really long and tiring day but otherwise I've been on track and I can tell that it's already making a noticeable difference. Pastor Jae made a good point last week saying that anytime you immerse yourself in something, it inevitably creeps into your life whether you like it or not. I'm looking forward to bringing about more positive change in the way I am by continuing to read and meditate on the book that our faith is rooted in.
Nov 8: Gen 29-31
These few chapters are filled with lies, deception, and jealousy that it's basically the bible version of the jerry springer show. The story of Jacob and how he ends up marrying both Leah and Rachel b/c he was deceived by their father Laban are found in these chapters. He then has like 50 kids or so it seems with Leah, Rachel and both their maidservants. Finally, he's fed up with Laban and takes off with his daughters and the flock he accumulated. You can tell things are just going to get messy and God probably wants us to learn something here. Don't lie. It usually seems easier and you feel like you can avoid a headache by lying but it's just going to catch up to you and become even worse than before. It's amazing how much you can learn from just the first 30 chapters of the bible. Not things that only mattered thousands of years ago, but things we can directly use in our lives now and that's why this is the book our religion is grounded upon. Pastor Jae said today in his sermon that salvation is free, but sanctification we must work on. The easiest way to becoming sanctified is being immersed in the word of God.
Nov 8: Gen 29-31
These few chapters are filled with lies, deception, and jealousy that it's basically the bible version of the jerry springer show. The story of Jacob and how he ends up marrying both Leah and Rachel b/c he was deceived by their father Laban are found in these chapters. He then has like 50 kids or so it seems with Leah, Rachel and both their maidservants. Finally, he's fed up with Laban and takes off with his daughters and the flock he accumulated. You can tell things are just going to get messy and God probably wants us to learn something here. Don't lie. It usually seems easier and you feel like you can avoid a headache by lying but it's just going to catch up to you and become even worse than before. It's amazing how much you can learn from just the first 30 chapters of the bible. Not things that only mattered thousands of years ago, but things we can directly use in our lives now and that's why this is the book our religion is grounded upon. Pastor Jae said today in his sermon that salvation is free, but sanctification we must work on. The easiest way to becoming sanctified is being immersed in the word of God.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Day 6
Finally it's Friday!!! Tomorrow should be a super awesome/busy/tiring day so I'm going to read 2 days worth today in case I pass out right when I get home. Wish the GCC girls flag football team luck for tomorrow's 1st tourney and come support if you can!
Nov 6: Gen 24-25, 26-28
There are a bunch of stories in these 5 chapters that we are all pretty familiar with. Isaac marries Rebekah, Jacob and Esau are born, Jacob steals Esau's birthright etc etc...The one I want to focus on though is when Isaac goes to King Abimelech of the Philistines because of famine. Abraham actually visited King Abimelech for the same reason, famine, when he was alive. At that time, he lied to everyone and said Sarah was his sister instead of wife, in fear that the men there would kill him to get her because she was so beautiful. Isaac does the same exact thing in this chapter, he lies and says Rebekah is his sister because he thought someone might kill him for her. The first thing that crossed my mind was, how hot could these 2 women have been that Abraham and Isaac would lie out of fear of getting killed?? They were definitely blessed. Anyways, the point I wanted to capture is that we are so much like what our parents raise us to be. Instead of focus on the negatives or sins of my parents, I want to focus on how much of a light they have been to Carol, Ernie and me. They sacrificed so much for us, (we'd be millionaires if we didn't all play hockey) took us to church every week and instilled strong morals in us. As far as I know, both my siblings have strong spiritual lives and a lot of it comes from how much our parents gave us strong foundations to build off of. If I can mirror the love and faith my parents had to my future children, I know they will turn out just fine.
Nov 6: Gen 24-25, 26-28
There are a bunch of stories in these 5 chapters that we are all pretty familiar with. Isaac marries Rebekah, Jacob and Esau are born, Jacob steals Esau's birthright etc etc...The one I want to focus on though is when Isaac goes to King Abimelech of the Philistines because of famine. Abraham actually visited King Abimelech for the same reason, famine, when he was alive. At that time, he lied to everyone and said Sarah was his sister instead of wife, in fear that the men there would kill him to get her because she was so beautiful. Isaac does the same exact thing in this chapter, he lies and says Rebekah is his sister because he thought someone might kill him for her. The first thing that crossed my mind was, how hot could these 2 women have been that Abraham and Isaac would lie out of fear of getting killed?? They were definitely blessed. Anyways, the point I wanted to capture is that we are so much like what our parents raise us to be. Instead of focus on the negatives or sins of my parents, I want to focus on how much of a light they have been to Carol, Ernie and me. They sacrificed so much for us, (we'd be millionaires if we didn't all play hockey) took us to church every week and instilled strong morals in us. As far as I know, both my siblings have strong spiritual lives and a lot of it comes from how much our parents gave us strong foundations to build off of. If I can mirror the love and faith my parents had to my future children, I know they will turn out just fine.
Day 5
warning: long entry.
Nov 5: Gen 21-23
Chapter 22 is fascinating if you really read into it. This chapter is when God tests Abraham and instructs him to sacrifice Isaac; "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him..." That's some heavy stuff...Two things jump out to me right away. God knows Abraham loves Isaac and even says so, yet he still asks Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Nothing is off limit to what God can order us to do. His will conquers ours. Everyone knows in the end that God was just testing Abraham, but I still feel that he wants us to know that we should follow him regardless of what we want. This has to be one of the hardest things for us to do. The other thing I realized is that Abraham must really fear God, and in turn has incredible faith and will listen to whatever God directs of him. Just like the story of Noah and the ark, there's no dialogue between God and Abraham after God tells him to sacrifice his son. If there was, I think God would want us to see that too, but there's nothing. No questioning, no begging to reconsider, no hesitation. No matter what other flaws you have, it is so apparent that God loves using and working in people with God-fearing faith.
Not so random sidenote of the day:
This week, I've been contemplating and praying about a 1 week missions trip to Costa Rica with GCC in January. Shin, Dave and I heard about it this Sunday and really wanted to consider going, regardless of how short notice it was for us (we needed to decide by this Friday). Ever since hearing about missions trips to Mexico at Princeton Alliance, I've been wanting to go as well but this felt off to me at first and felt so rushed that I wasn't sure if God really wanted me to go just yet. Dlaevee told me to stop being so practical which helped me come around a little, because God can ask us to do things when they might not seem so practical or logical which is usually how I roll.
For the past several months at work, I've been listening to whatever station on Pandora that strikes my mood. Some people have been abusing internet privileges though (porn/gambling even...) so they started to monitor a lot closer how much people were using the internet even investing in additional programs to do so. Pandora is pretty harmless to say the least but I decided to stay off everything for awhile until things cooled down. I started to listen to my old school ipod mini that Carol bought me in college that was neglected in my drawer at work. I put it on shuffle and one of the first few songs that came up which I haven't heard in ages was Rose Colored Stain Glassed Windows by Jars of Clay. God slapped me in the face with this and I knew I was going to go to Costa Rica. Call it what you want, coincidence or whatever, but I know this is God speaking to me. Here are the lyrics...
Another sleepy Sunday, safe within the walls.
Outside a dying world in desparation calls.
But no one hears the cries, or knows what they're about.
The doors are locked within, or is it from without
Chorus:
Looking through rose colored stain glassed windows
Never allowing the world to come in
Seeing no evil and feeling no pain
And making the light as it comes from within, so dim.
Out on your doorstep lay the masses in decay.
Ignore them long enough, maybe they'll go away.
When you have so much you think, you have so much to lose.
You think you have no lack when you're really destitute.
The imagery in both verses which are only 4 lines, is so powerful to me. We live so comfortably and are blessed so much by God and we take it for granted. This world we live in isn't everything, we become so numb to the outside world. I was speaking to James Kim about this last night; we need to have hearts of agony just like God does to move ourselves to actually do things for the kingdom. The last line in the chorus hits me the hardest. The God given light in our lives, the light we should have from being saved, is dying and becoming dim b/c we don't spread it. Lord, help me to shine the light you have given me, whether it's to my friends, family, coworkers or even people in Costa Rica...
Nov 5: Gen 21-23
Chapter 22 is fascinating if you really read into it. This chapter is when God tests Abraham and instructs him to sacrifice Isaac; "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him..." That's some heavy stuff...Two things jump out to me right away. God knows Abraham loves Isaac and even says so, yet he still asks Abraham to sacrifice Isaac. Nothing is off limit to what God can order us to do. His will conquers ours. Everyone knows in the end that God was just testing Abraham, but I still feel that he wants us to know that we should follow him regardless of what we want. This has to be one of the hardest things for us to do. The other thing I realized is that Abraham must really fear God, and in turn has incredible faith and will listen to whatever God directs of him. Just like the story of Noah and the ark, there's no dialogue between God and Abraham after God tells him to sacrifice his son. If there was, I think God would want us to see that too, but there's nothing. No questioning, no begging to reconsider, no hesitation. No matter what other flaws you have, it is so apparent that God loves using and working in people with God-fearing faith.
Not so random sidenote of the day:
This week, I've been contemplating and praying about a 1 week missions trip to Costa Rica with GCC in January. Shin, Dave and I heard about it this Sunday and really wanted to consider going, regardless of how short notice it was for us (we needed to decide by this Friday). Ever since hearing about missions trips to Mexico at Princeton Alliance, I've been wanting to go as well but this felt off to me at first and felt so rushed that I wasn't sure if God really wanted me to go just yet. Dlaevee told me to stop being so practical which helped me come around a little, because God can ask us to do things when they might not seem so practical or logical which is usually how I roll.
For the past several months at work, I've been listening to whatever station on Pandora that strikes my mood. Some people have been abusing internet privileges though (porn/gambling even...) so they started to monitor a lot closer how much people were using the internet even investing in additional programs to do so. Pandora is pretty harmless to say the least but I decided to stay off everything for awhile until things cooled down. I started to listen to my old school ipod mini that Carol bought me in college that was neglected in my drawer at work. I put it on shuffle and one of the first few songs that came up which I haven't heard in ages was Rose Colored Stain Glassed Windows by Jars of Clay. God slapped me in the face with this and I knew I was going to go to Costa Rica. Call it what you want, coincidence or whatever, but I know this is God speaking to me. Here are the lyrics...
Another sleepy Sunday, safe within the walls.
Outside a dying world in desparation calls.
But no one hears the cries, or knows what they're about.
The doors are locked within, or is it from without
Chorus:
Looking through rose colored stain glassed windows
Never allowing the world to come in
Seeing no evil and feeling no pain
And making the light as it comes from within, so dim.
Out on your doorstep lay the masses in decay.
Ignore them long enough, maybe they'll go away.
When you have so much you think, you have so much to lose.
You think you have no lack when you're really destitute.
The imagery in both verses which are only 4 lines, is so powerful to me. We live so comfortably and are blessed so much by God and we take it for granted. This world we live in isn't everything, we become so numb to the outside world. I was speaking to James Kim about this last night; we need to have hearts of agony just like God does to move ourselves to actually do things for the kingdom. The last line in the chorus hits me the hardest. The God given light in our lives, the light we should have from being saved, is dying and becoming dim b/c we don't spread it. Lord, help me to shine the light you have given me, whether it's to my friends, family, coworkers or even people in Costa Rica...
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Day 4
Technically, I missed today's reading b/c its past midnight, but it was for a good occasion. Happy birthday SHIN!! don't worry, your secret is safe with me...
Nov 4: Gen 18-20
One thing I need to understand more is how to really fear God. There's some dialogue in chapter 18 between Abraham, Sarah, and God that is somewhat amusing but also something we should listen to seriously. The dialogue is when God again promises a son to Abraham and Sarah within a year. Sarah listens to the conversation from outside the tent and laughs to herself when she hears of the promise. God asks Abraham why Sarah is laughing, also rhetorically asking "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" Sarah then becomes afraid and lies and says "I did not laugh." God just comes back with, "Yes, you did laugh." This was kinda funny to me at first. God is pretty much shutting her up for lying to him and does so with ease. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I've been in Sarah's shoes many many times too. We think we can trick God and ourselves sometimes but what can we really hide from him? To me, he doesn't seem amused at that conversation. Sarah questions God's authority, laughs and shrugs it off and then tops it off by lying to him. God has answered so many of my prayers and yet I still question him about things as well. It's so hard to just completely trust but I pray that God can grant me yet another one of my prayer requests to do just that.
Nov 4: Gen 18-20
One thing I need to understand more is how to really fear God. There's some dialogue in chapter 18 between Abraham, Sarah, and God that is somewhat amusing but also something we should listen to seriously. The dialogue is when God again promises a son to Abraham and Sarah within a year. Sarah listens to the conversation from outside the tent and laughs to herself when she hears of the promise. God asks Abraham why Sarah is laughing, also rhetorically asking "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" Sarah then becomes afraid and lies and says "I did not laugh." God just comes back with, "Yes, you did laugh." This was kinda funny to me at first. God is pretty much shutting her up for lying to him and does so with ease. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I've been in Sarah's shoes many many times too. We think we can trick God and ourselves sometimes but what can we really hide from him? To me, he doesn't seem amused at that conversation. Sarah questions God's authority, laughs and shrugs it off and then tops it off by lying to him. God has answered so many of my prayers and yet I still question him about things as well. It's so hard to just completely trust but I pray that God can grant me yet another one of my prayer requests to do just that.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Day 3.5
I'm enjoying how reading the bible doesn't feel like a chore. Pastor Jae told us to hunger for the word and I feel like God has granted me that prayer for now. Let's hope it sticks. I read Gen 9-12 last night, so i'll be ahead 1 day today after Gen 13-16. My goal is to try not to miss any days, so reading ahead is OK.
Nov 3: Gen 13-17
Abraham was crazy blessed. In almost each of these chapters, God is just throwing unimaginable blessings Abraham's way saying he'll make his offspring like the dust of the earth, or saying that if he can count the stars, so shall his offspring be. The last blessing God grants him at the end of these chapters even makes Abraham laugh and almost shrug it off in disbelief. This blessing of course was that Abraham and Sarah would bear a child at the age of 100 and 90 respectively. But God indeed does promise them a child and the result is Isaac. A lot of times I neglect how blessed I really am. It's easy to get caught up with always comparing your life from others and seeing the nice things they have that you might not. But I still have an amazing family, awesome gf, awesome friends, and best of all I have God.
"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said 'Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you'"
What more do we need?
Nov 3: Gen 13-17
Abraham was crazy blessed. In almost each of these chapters, God is just throwing unimaginable blessings Abraham's way saying he'll make his offspring like the dust of the earth, or saying that if he can count the stars, so shall his offspring be. The last blessing God grants him at the end of these chapters even makes Abraham laugh and almost shrug it off in disbelief. This blessing of course was that Abraham and Sarah would bear a child at the age of 100 and 90 respectively. But God indeed does promise them a child and the result is Isaac. A lot of times I neglect how blessed I really am. It's easy to get caught up with always comparing your life from others and seeing the nice things they have that you might not. But I still have an amazing family, awesome gf, awesome friends, and best of all I have God.
"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said 'Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you'"
What more do we need?
Day 3
Nov 3: Gen 9-12
I would have never thought that a drunk Noah could give me hope. I had actually read about this on some other guy's blog before but it really makes sense. In chapter 9, God establishes his covenant with Noah promising him all these amazing things for him and his family. In that same chapter, Noah gets krunked off wine and passes out naked. This is the guy that God trusted to continue the human race? The thing that pops out here is how real this is. Noah is still just another human that God uses. All the great people that God has used have incredible flaws too. David commits adultery, Paul persecuted Christians and the list goes on. Besides Jesus, no one is sinless and no one has lived a perfect life. I've had my fair share of drunken nights too and this gives me hope that God can still use me in awesome ways.
Chapter 12 gets into Abram's story. Right off the bat in verse 2, God is declaring that he will make Abram into a great nation. Later in the same chapter, we see flaws again in the people God chooses. Before Abram and Sarai head into Egypt, Abram is worried that they'll kill him to take Sarai away b/c she's so beautiful. He starts declaring these things like they're fact and ends up lying to the Pharaoh and bringing diseases to his family. What happened to trusting in God and everything he said he'd do for you? I know that I try to take so many things into my own hands and manipulate things for my own agenda, but inevitably this is when things go wrong. I pray that my mind will be clear and not clouded and that God's will, will be my own too.
I would have never thought that a drunk Noah could give me hope. I had actually read about this on some other guy's blog before but it really makes sense. In chapter 9, God establishes his covenant with Noah promising him all these amazing things for him and his family. In that same chapter, Noah gets krunked off wine and passes out naked. This is the guy that God trusted to continue the human race? The thing that pops out here is how real this is. Noah is still just another human that God uses. All the great people that God has used have incredible flaws too. David commits adultery, Paul persecuted Christians and the list goes on. Besides Jesus, no one is sinless and no one has lived a perfect life. I've had my fair share of drunken nights too and this gives me hope that God can still use me in awesome ways.
Chapter 12 gets into Abram's story. Right off the bat in verse 2, God is declaring that he will make Abram into a great nation. Later in the same chapter, we see flaws again in the people God chooses. Before Abram and Sarai head into Egypt, Abram is worried that they'll kill him to take Sarai away b/c she's so beautiful. He starts declaring these things like they're fact and ends up lying to the Pharaoh and bringing diseases to his family. What happened to trusting in God and everything he said he'd do for you? I know that I try to take so many things into my own hands and manipulate things for my own agenda, but inevitably this is when things go wrong. I pray that my mind will be clear and not clouded and that God's will, will be my own too.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Day 2
I realized today that I'm on page 7 of 1034 in my bible. Probably not going to look at the page numbers again for awhile.
Nov 2: Gen 5-8
We've all heard pastors speak about Noah and the ark but it was still refreshing to read over his story again. The first thing I noticed is God's grief over the state of humanity up til that point. He was so upset about the wickedness of man that "his heart was filled with pain." It wasn't that God was pissed, or just straight up angry. He was more grieved about it than anything and that says a lot to me about his love for us.
The other thing that I've heard of before and noticed again is Noah's faith. If God told me to build a huge boat, what would I do? Probably not what Noah did which was make the boat no questions asked. There's no argument, questioning or indecisiveness. God tells him what to do, and Noah does it. I want to get to that point where I just absolutely trust God with everything. There are so many insecurities in my life and they'll continue to be just that until I can let go and completely trust him. God has provided and blessed me more than I can ask up til this point, why should I think that it'll be any different moving forward?
Random sidenote of the day:
For those of you that don't know, my pops moved to China indefinitely for work. I felt kinda bad that I moved out when I realized that my mom would be home alone and she further reinforced that feeling for me today.
Reason #1 I feel bad about moving out:
Mom has been watching TV on SAP the past 3 days and didn't know why they were speaking spanish.
Nov 2: Gen 5-8
We've all heard pastors speak about Noah and the ark but it was still refreshing to read over his story again. The first thing I noticed is God's grief over the state of humanity up til that point. He was so upset about the wickedness of man that "his heart was filled with pain." It wasn't that God was pissed, or just straight up angry. He was more grieved about it than anything and that says a lot to me about his love for us.
The other thing that I've heard of before and noticed again is Noah's faith. If God told me to build a huge boat, what would I do? Probably not what Noah did which was make the boat no questions asked. There's no argument, questioning or indecisiveness. God tells him what to do, and Noah does it. I want to get to that point where I just absolutely trust God with everything. There are so many insecurities in my life and they'll continue to be just that until I can let go and completely trust him. God has provided and blessed me more than I can ask up til this point, why should I think that it'll be any different moving forward?
Random sidenote of the day:
For those of you that don't know, my pops moved to China indefinitely for work. I felt kinda bad that I moved out when I realized that my mom would be home alone and she further reinforced that feeling for me today.
Reason #1 I feel bad about moving out:
Mom has been watching TV on SAP the past 3 days and didn't know why they were speaking spanish.
Day 1
I've been wanting to read the bible in it's entirety from cover to cover for awhile now and I think God used Pastor Jae's sermon today to push me to actually follow through with this. I am 100% positive that this would be impossible for me to do without an actual plan or schedule to follow so I found a read the bible in 1 year study tool on christianity.com (thanks moose) to help me with that. Also, there are two reasons that I'm creating a blog to help me with this. 1st reason is so I can jot down notes/insights/random thoughts from my readings. This should hopefully prevent me from just skimming and not really absorbing anything. 2nd reason is so that my close friends/family can keep me accountable and keep track of my progress. God, please don't let me fail after a week...
Nov 1: Gen 1-4
I must have read Genesis a million times and different things pop out to me each time. One verse that caught my attention is when God is speaking to Cain when he's sulking about his offering not being favored. God explains to him that sin "desires to have you, but you must master it." Well we all know how that one turned out... It just goes to show how dangerous sin really is. We all have different sins that we struggle with the most. One of mine for a long time has been laziness, which prevents me from spending more time with God. When I get home, I just want to relax and watch the rangers play on my nice 40 inch tv or just lay around doing nothing. To add to that, last week I started to help my monster of an 8 year old cousin with homework after work, which i'm certain is more stressful than my full day of work. BUT, God is still good. Pastor Jae's sermon today, Shin bringing up that we should start writing blogs, it all just kinda clicked. God answered two of my prayer requests to help me read the bible more and to stop being so damn lazy by showing me a plan that could actually work. Sometimes we just have to listen.
Nov 1: Gen 1-4
I must have read Genesis a million times and different things pop out to me each time. One verse that caught my attention is when God is speaking to Cain when he's sulking about his offering not being favored. God explains to him that sin "desires to have you, but you must master it." Well we all know how that one turned out... It just goes to show how dangerous sin really is. We all have different sins that we struggle with the most. One of mine for a long time has been laziness, which prevents me from spending more time with God. When I get home, I just want to relax and watch the rangers play on my nice 40 inch tv or just lay around doing nothing. To add to that, last week I started to help my monster of an 8 year old cousin with homework after work, which i'm certain is more stressful than my full day of work. BUT, God is still good. Pastor Jae's sermon today, Shin bringing up that we should start writing blogs, it all just kinda clicked. God answered two of my prayer requests to help me read the bible more and to stop being so damn lazy by showing me a plan that could actually work. Sometimes we just have to listen.
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